A reader writes:
I’m the assistant supervisor of a office the place my associate additionally works. In truth, we met there — after I began working right here, we have been each in the identical customer-facing function, and a few 12 months in the past I acquired the assistant supervisor function. We’ve up to now made this work, though it has been tough at occasions. Our office is comparatively casual; I handle his crew however I don’t should line handle him, and the chief supervisor steps in the place applicable.
Nonetheless, I’ve simply been informed we’re attributable to make a wave of cuts to jobs (sadly following a sector-wide development). My job is secure; my associate’s job, and people of his crew, aren’t. He gained’t discover out about this formally for one more two months.
My supervisor and the senior crew have requested me to not inform him earlier than then. I really feel torn. On a private stage, I don’t wish to deceive him. However it’s additionally unfair and will get difficult if he is aware of earlier than the opposite workers. Like a lot of the crew I think about he’ll really feel very strongly about it and is more likely to wish to attempt to battle towards these cuts (e.g., via our union). However I might face disciplinary motion if it will get out that I informed him earlier than anybody else.
For context, he’s at the moment in search of different jobs anyway, partly so we don’t should work collectively however for different causes too. However whereas he stays right here I can’t see a approach ahead that doesn’t critically jeopardize both my job or my relationship!
In the beginning, your organization by no means ought to have put you in a job managing your associate’s crew. It’s not sufficient to indirectly line-manage him; you shouldn’t be a part of his chain of command in any respect. That’s unfair to you, him, your colleagues, and your employer — they by no means ought to have allowed it. Along with it being an apparent battle of curiosity — to not point out the issue it’s inflicting you now — it raises all kinds of points for different individuals who might wish to, for instance, convey you an issue together with your associate however gained’t really feel snug doing that due to the non-public relationship.
However that doesn’t aid you now.
It’s not cheap so that you can be put ready the place you already know your associate will lose his job in two months however aren’t allowed to share that with him. You don’t say if you happen to’re married or reside collectively, however in case you are, it’s much more unreasonable; you might have details about your family’s funds that you would be able to’t talk about or act on. And that’s earlier than we even get into the emotional aspect of this: most individuals in your associate’s sneakers would really feel betrayed in the event that they came upon you’d identified up to now upfront and never informed them. He’s more likely to really feel you prioritized your individual skilled safety above him and above your relationship, and it might have actual and lasting results on his belief in you. That’s not a sacrifice your employer ought to anticipate of you. (Which is but one more reason why they shouldn’t have put you ready over him to start with.)
I solely see two moral choices:
1. You share the knowledge together with your associate however make it very clear that your organization can’t discover out that you simply informed him. Which means he can’t react to it the best way he’s going to wish to, and also you’d must belief him to stick to that. (For the report, he ought to adhere to that; he ought to acknowledge that he’s solely aware about the knowledge due to his relationship with you, and that you simply doing the proper factor inside the context of your relationship doesn’t entitle him to hazard you professionally. In the event you can’t belief him to deal with that appropriately, there’s a special downside.)
2. You inform your organization that you simply’re in an untenable scenario and also you want to have the ability to disclose it to your associate, and also you collaborate with them to determine how one can proceed inside these constraints. I don’t love this — as a result of if you agreed to take this job you have been agreeing to the confidentiality expectations that come together with it — however right here you’re and it’s a set-up they blessed, and there’s a restrict to how a lot you may be anticipated to guard the corporate’s pursuits above your individual.
#2 is the most suitable choice because it means that you can be trustworthy with either side, however whether or not or not it’s possible is dependent upon what you already know of your organization’s management.
