A number of years in the past, a tremendous coach and mentor of mine, Susan Dunlap, instructed me she’d heard an expression she merely needed to share with me: “The playground is the brand new golf course.” Because the founding father of a program referred to as the Girls’s Management Discussion board, Susan and I are very a lot aligned in supporting the creation of “self-authored” careers that won’t observe a predictable path. We additionally each love a very good metaphor.
We had been speaking that day about networking and about the truth that so many conventional, plug-and-play enterprise growth and connection alternatives merely aren’t conducive (or attention-grabbing) to professionals whose lives don’t match the “customary” breadwinner-male-who-likes-the-golf course-and-is-available-around-the-clock mannequin. Caregivers usually battle with night commitments. Girls have historically been excluded from after hours “consuming buddy” varieties of networking. And golf is, nicely, golf. An ideal sport for some, however not one thing I’ve expertise with.
I used to be just lately presenting a webinar entitled “Managing Profession Ambition as a Caregiver” for a number of the Worker Belonging Councils (EBCs) at Workday. And within the part of my presentation about group and connection, I shared this concept of the playground being the brand new golf course. An astute participant then requested me the next query, which was one thing alongside the traces of:
“However the playground is the place I am going to take a look at from work commitments! Are you saying that now a spot I am going for respite is the place I’m imagined to be networking?”
What “The Playground is the New Golf Course” Means to Me
Right here’s what I mentioned in response to her wonderful query:
No, my fellow working dad or mum, I’m not suggesting that each second you spend out on the planet – even these moments together with your kids – be spent in furtherance of your profession. Please, please: if the playground is your house to take a look at mentally, do not deprive your self of that outlet! We completely want occasions and areas the place we aren’t carrying our skilled hats. We have to unplug. Tune into our different identities. And have alone time and “unicorn areas” (right here’s a hyperlink to entry the recording of my dialog with Eve Rodsky on her guide of the identical identify).
To me, “the playground is the brand new golf course” implies that we will actively carve out family-friendly areas and create parent-accommodating experiences for ourselves with the precise intention of constructing networks for profession development and enterprise growth. We don’t must depend on being invited to a golf sport. Or attending an after-dinner drinks outing. Mother and father who’re in the identical place as us and who’ve comparable constraints are additionally individuals who have and share enterprise. They’re our colleagues and purchasers. Individuals who additionally need to develop of their careers. And they’re most likely having the identical struggles we’re in prioritizing connection.
What would possibly spending time at such a family-friendly office “playground” appear to be? Listed here are a number of concepts:
- Attending brown bag lunches or different occasions held by the working dad or mum or caregiver group at your group. (Or beginning one, if it doesn’t exist already.) Once I labored as a Accomplice at a worldwide legislation agency, I gained new shopper issues particularly due to the folks I linked with by way of the dad or mum group I based. Simply don’t be afraid to speak about work at your gatherings, along with commiserating about your kiddos.
- Planning an occasion with colleagues and/or purchasers that entails your kids. Sure, there’s at all times “take your baby to work day,” however what about an occasion at a neighborhood zoo? Or a craft-related or cooking-related occasion that welcomes households?
- Growing an occasion – whether or not digital or in particular person – only for potential and present purchasers, on a subject related to working parenthood. You would possibly usher in a speaker on time administration, or work-life integration, and even the division of family labor. (Yep, that is one thing I might help you create, in case you are in search of audio system or assist. Right here’s my talking web page.) By planning and attending such a occasion, you’ll get to spend time on enterprise growth, rising genuine relationships that acknowledge your respective households and your full humanity. And also you’ll get to choose a time that works nicely for folks with household commitments.
As a ultimate be aware, I additionally really feel compelled to share one other vital lesson I realized from Susan Dunlap: that girls are likely to underutilize friendship networks for skilled functions. As government coach Dale Kurow says on this Forbes article entitled How Girls Can Use Friendships to Enhance Their Careers, “I discover that girls are typically hesitant or embarrassed to ask their mates for assist to additional their careers.” Pamela Ryckman can also be quoted within the article as saying, “Girls who’ve constructed true friendships with their friends are lastly capable of do what males have accomplished since time immemorial: Merge enterprise and friendship and capitalize on connections.”
I get it. We don’t need to threat or threaten our shut friendships by making them about enterprise. Which, I agree, is vital. However what if we provided ourselves some new narratives. For instance, that sharing the skilled aspect of our lives would possibly simply enrich our friendships and assist them to increase and develop deeper. Or that “friendship” or “enterprise” needn’t be a binary alternative. Or, lastly, that asking for assist is fearless and trust-building.
Okay, so go forth to that playground and nurture your relationships. (And if you happen to’re in search of extra superior recommendation and methods for rising an genuine community, take a look at my husband Jason Levin’s wonderful guide, Relationships to Infinity: The Artwork and Science of Conserving in Contact.) Now go play!
